Halloween – Wandering Psychos

vhscollector.com

Halloween is so beautifully paced that the viewer always gets a little bit of time to settle between spooky incidents.  There’s never enough time to be boring, but enough to maximize the effect of the low key scenes.  Something as simple as Michael watching Laurie in broad daylight while she’s at school is kind of unsettling.

Zombie Lake – My Inner Pervert

I have a confession to make – I like looking at naked women.  I’m not even talking in an artistic or sophisticated way like you might see in a Radley Metzger film, not always at least.  What I’m talking about is unapologetic and crass.  It’s just naked women.  I know that this can justifiably be perceived as sexist, objectifying, and offensive but that primordial jelly part of my brain just doesn’t care.  To deny this in the face of political correctness would be dishonest and if there’s anything that I value here, it’s honesty.  Honesty and nudity.

Sleepaway Camp II – The Green Pool

I’m not an outdoors-y person at all.  I do love camping though, and I’m pretty sure this comes from my complete adoration of 80s camp set slasher movies.  The more a campground looks like something I saw in Friday the 13th, Sleepaway Camp, or The Burning, the more likely I am to completely fall in love with the place.

Friday the 13th Part IV – Jason’s Curious Behavior

Slasher fans tend to be pretty forgiving of lapses in logic.  We kind of have to be.  Some of my favorite movies have pretty baffling things going on.  These are the moments that detractors of the genre have the hardest time accepting.  I don’t blame them; but if you love slashers enough (especially slashers from the early 80s), you get it.  There’s more to love than just the traditional attributes that make a good movie.

My Bloody Valentine – Stray Dog

Growing up, I always considered myself the expert on the genre.  Looking back, it seems that it was probably more by default than anything else.  I didn’t meet anyone else who liked horror more than casually until high school.

There were a few more horror fans in college, but most people there were more into flavor of the moment stuff.  I probably sound like a snob here, but the majority of these people had just gotten into film when it was time to decide on a major.  They tended to pick a few classics in addition to The Godfather, Goodfellas, and maybe some Tarantino movies to go along with a David Fincher infatuation (Fight Club came out at the beginning of my third year).

Dawn of the Dead – Marching Zombie

I’ve heard George Romero say that he doesn’t like to give large groups of extras explicit directions on how to walk like zombies because they’ll all do the same thing.  Makes sense, choreographed zombies would probably look like the Thriller music video.  Part of the fun of watching his Dead movies is watching out for all the distinctive ghouls on display.  This is never more apparent in Dawn, where the make up for most was just mild discoloration.  It was really the costumes or the body language that made the zombies memorable.  It’s pretty hard to forget the fat shirtless guy bumping his belly against the glass doors or the hare krishna busting into the store room.

Friday the 13th Part VI – Jason’s Motive

I’m always wary when a sequel takes it as its mission to explain away any sense of mystery that is prevalent in a movie.  The part of Halloween that completely strikes a nerve with me is that Michael stalks Laurie for so long because of a chance encounter.  That sort of fragile mental state is unsettling.  As much as I enjoy some of the sequels, the motive given to Michael takes a bit of wind out of the movies’ collective sails.

Rolls Royce Baby – Coed Naked Kung Fu

Almost everyone that I talk to insists that exercise will make me feel better.  I see the logic in it.  I mean I don’t want to get winded going up a flight of stairs or have a heart attack before I’m 50.  And I like having had exercised, being in shape doesn’t bother me and I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that goes with it.  I just hate the actual process.  When I say hate, I mean I loathe it.

The Prophecy – Recess Time!

I sometimes wonder how accurately I’m remembering recess from elementary school.  It was 15 minutes of pure chaos that sometimes descended into near race riots.  By the school entrance, there were a few adults whose entire function was to yell to students when it was time to line up.  During the actual recess time, all the kids ran down to the grass with a football and played something called Kill the Man With the Ball.

Friday the 13th Part IV – Love is a Lie

It’s almost impossible to talk with someone about Friday the 13th Part IV for more than five minutes without discussing Crispin Glover’s spastic dance scene.  There’s a good reason for that too.  It’s one of the most memorable scenes in the series and there’s really nothing else like it.  It’s not just some actor being goofy – that shit is hard to do.  Trust me, I’ve tried.  I remember showing it to someone who suspected that the camera was undercranked until he realized that other performers in the shot were moving at normal speed.