Zombie Lake – My Inner Pervert

zombielake1I have a confession to make – I like looking at naked women.  I’m not even talking in an artistic or sophisticated way like you might see in a Radley Metzger film, not always at least.  What I’m talking about is unapologetic and crass.  It’s just naked women.  I know that this can justifiably be perceived as sexist, objectifying, and offensive but that primordial jelly part of my brain just doesn’t care.  To deny this in the face of political correctness would be dishonest and if there’s anything that I value here, it’s honesty.  Honesty and nudity.

Of course, that’s not to say that all nudity is created equal.  Because I’m a deviant, there should be some sense of naughtiness to it all.  If someone looks like they were created for the sole purpose of being naked (any number of modern porn stars, for example), the eroticism level drops to zero.  There’s something about seeing something that you’re not supposed to see that just pushes all the right buttons.

Being the nostalgia nut that I am, my childhood was filled with examples of this.  I was obviously less selective because, as a kid, everything with naked people in it was something I wasn’t supposed to see.  I’ve discussed here in the past how many of my video selections were based off of the sleaze potential.

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What’s so strange about this is the fact that I even have to make this a confession.  There’s still a bit of shame c0nnected to loving sleaze.  So much so that I discuss my prurient interests here under an alias (confession #2: I’m not really a doctor).

When I was younger, this was even more pronounced.  Couple natural childhood insecurities with a love of nudity and you have a recipe for a reputation as a creepy little pervert.  (The good news is, I’m no longer little.)  So, naturally, I tried to keep this aspect of my personality on the down low.  My copies of The Bare Facts Video Guide wasn’t prominently displayed and my video collection looked to be exclusively horror to the untrained eye.

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Yeah, I said copies.  They revised it periodically.

Then, in high school, I met another horror fan.  We borrowed videos from each other frequently.  Usually the exchanges were made at school and I had any necessary time to prepare.  You wouldn’t think that there would be a need for much preparation when lending videos but again, I’m a pervert.

This guy came over one day and was looking over my shelf.  He picked up Zombie Lake and asked to borrow it.  If you’re unfamiliar, Zombie Lake is a low quality/high charm cheapo zombie movie with terrible dubbing, terrible makeup, and plentiful nudity.  The best scene involves a group of school girls on an apparent field trip.  They pull the bus over to Zombie Lake and then all go skinny dipping.  Even after over 11 years of marriage I understand so little about women that I’m just going to assume this is natural behavior.

Regardless, it was natural behavior that I liked to watch.  A lot.  Enough that I got tired of seeking out the 45 minute or so mark on the VHS tape.  I just left the tape cued up to the group skinny dipping scene.  Why search around for all the individual nude scenes when there’s one with a gaggle of girls all together.  Not only that, but the camera is unsatisfied watching the girls frolic and splash, instead going to investigate what treading water nude looks like from below.

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The results were spectacular

I couldn’t think of any reason to say no, but also knew that lending out a tape cued to this part was as good as introducing myself by saying, “Hi, I masturbate a lot!”  To his credit, the guy didn’t feel the need to embarrass me about it, although I bit he felt a little icky handling the tape after he knew its primary purpose.

If there’s a silver lining to any of this, it’s that I’ve come to terms with being a dirty man.  I don’t advertise it and I probably won’t take off my Dr. Humpp mask any time soon but I now have no problem admitting that I don’t own that 1972 Playboy with Tiffany Bolling for the articles.  I don’t like Brigitte Lahaie, Rene Bond, or Uschi Digart for their acting skills.  Sure, maybe the articles are interesting enough and maybe those ladies are even worth watching with their clothes on, but in the spirit of honesty, I confess, I like looking at naked women.

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This entry was posted in 80s, Euro Horror, sexploitation, Sleaze, Smut, Zombies and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to Zombie Lake – My Inner Pervert

  1. Interesting…. lol
    I’ve never seen Zombie Lake. Sounds kinda rough, but I like that kind of movie so I might have to find it some day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • drhumpp says:

      It is indeed rough. I’ve read some people praise the poignancy of the scenes with a zombie and his daughter, but it’s all so cheap that it’s hard to take seriously. The make up washing off the zombie faces and all.

      It still has charm though, just not in a high quality sort of way. It has nudity, too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I saw this what seems like a lifetime ago, before I’d begun to appreciate weird stuff. I remember feeling cheated, even angered, by what I had watched. The DVD cover art duped me, betrayed me. My recollection is more or less a haze of hairy coochies and dudes in green face paint — which, in retrospect, actually sounds fun. I’m willing to give this another chance. For science. Or something.

    Liked by 2 people

    • drhumpp says:

      Your dedication to science is an inspiration.

      It’s hard to pinpoint when I found an appreciation for weird stuff. I remember that, as a kid, I used to hate shot on video stuff. It is mostly crap, but there’s some pretty interesting stuff to be found when you can let go of cynicism and appreciate different kinds of creativity.

      The green face paint often washes the dudes when they emerge from the titular lake.

      Like

      • My descent can be traced back to Basket Case, and from there, Something Weird Video. After that, my life became a lot like that scene where Roger repels from a rope through his bathroom mirror in House (1986) and battles those bat-winged skulls.

        Liked by 1 person

      • drhumpp says:

        Basket Case was seminal for me to. It was a perfect bridge from straight horror to outright weird shit. It kind of embodied both.

        Something Weird came at the perfect time for me too. I only discovered them on the Image special edition DVDs, but I started with the HG Lewis movies. The impact those had on me can’t be overstated.

        Like

      • Tony Parsons says:

        Titular …(schoolboy giggle)

        Liked by 1 person

      • drhumpp says:

        Yeah, Yeah. Heh heh heh.

        It’s like Beavis & Butthead were middle aged and lived on opposite ends of the world. 🙂

        Like

  3. Aaron says:

    NOT A REAL DOCTOR?! I want my money back!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Paragraph Film Reviews says:

    “confession #2: I’m not really a doctor” – DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

    I get what you’re saying about nudity though. I think in horror and b-movies it’s a legitimate staple of the genre where even the best of the best and universally acclaimed films still have ‘cheap’ and ‘pointless’ nudity in them. Doesn’t necessarily make or break the film for me, but on some level it’s either ‘ticked a box’ by showing some skin, or mildly disappointed by keeping the clothes on. Even more so for things like ‘nasties’ and ‘previously banned’ films.

    Fun fact: the most used tag on my entire site is “TITS”. By a mile.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lol! Nice confession, sir!

    1 – you’re not really a doctor?! Oh my. Lol!

    2 – I think everyone is fascinated by naked women. I am a woman and I am for some reason fascinated by it too. I don’t seek it but I always look. Lol! So I can understand how a guy would love it in a movie.

    3 – The cueing of the video to that spot is hilarious. Your friend was kind in not calling you out on it. But he probably enjoyed not having to search for the best part of the movie, lol! And he probably jerked off as much as you did. Don’t all boys???

    Liked by 1 person

    • drhumpp says:

      1 – Nope, it’s the scandal of the century!
      2 – I seek it 🙂 The only difference is now I think I don’t have enough tact to be embarrassed about it. It’s weird though how not all nudity is created equal. There has to be some sense of it being something I shouldn’t be seeing. That’s why modern smut is so un-engaging. Some of them hardly resemble humans; like they were created for the sole purpose of aardvarking on camera.
      By the way, you’re a good sport for even reading this!
      3 – He messaged me after he read this and said that he doesn’t remember this. Since I was embarrassed, I remember it like it was yesterday. It must have been 20 or so years ago.
      Oh, and maybe not as much as me, but I bet he gave me a run for my money.

      There was a Wii game my kids had where you had to shake the remote like it was a can of soda. All I’m saying is I never lost that one.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Tony Parsons says:

    I love Zombie Lake. Running green makeup and all. Howard Vernon’s always worth a look. I seem to remember the Daniel White music’s quite good too.
    Still, let’s get to the important business. I love women. I’d rather hang around women than men – if there’s a party, I’ll be chatting with the women rather than trying to do “man’s talk” with the men. My best friends are women. I regard myself as a “Woman’s Man” (as opposed to a “Ladies Man”, quite a different, not-so-positive concept) and yet, I see no problem with my internal biological imperative that makes me completely fascinated (nigh-on obsessed) with the naked female form. I’m also fascinated with my fascination … what an amazing natural system sex is! What’s to be ashamed?

    Liked by 1 person

    • drhumpp says:

      I don’t remember enough about the score, I’ll listen more carefully next time it’s on. Zombie Lake feels like innocent fun. It’s gratuitous but hard to find offensive (for me, at least).

      And you’re right. I’ve never been as interested in guy talk. I never watched sports until I was in my 20s and the guys at work would always have it on. I’m mildly interested now only because they don’t have enough interest in weird movies to carry on a conversation. Left to my own devices, I know what I would choose every single time.

      I think that’s why I love horror conventions so much. It’s cathartic to immerse yourself in that stuff for an entire weekend.

      That and naked women are still interesting, and as Eric Falk proved, naked men can be pretty badass, too.

      Like

  7. emmakwall says:

    Dr Humpp!!! I’m shocked!!! And I’m even MORE shocked that this admission of perviness was made a good four days ago and the WordPress police (I know they exist) haven’t been round to take your blog down, burn it, eat it and feed it to wilder beast. This behaviour won’t be tolerated you now!! And glad to hear you’re no longer little haha. And what preparations for exchanging videos?!!! Woah, the mind boggles. And my mind REALLY boggles.

    I’ll have to watch Zombie Lake one day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • drhumpp says:

      WordPress police? What kind of jackassery is this? Luckily, I suspect that I’m a low level criminal flying under the radar.

      Preparations for exchanging video usually included rewinding the tapes so that the first thing to pop up wasn’t dirty.

      Get back to me after you watch Zombie Lake. I’ve always wanted to know if that’s what girls did on field trips.

      Like

  8. Chris B says:

    I think if everyone introduced themselves by saying, “Hi, I masterbate a lot”, the world would be much more relaxed and peaceful.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. markmc2012 says:

    Heard of this one, but have never seen it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. vinnieh says:

    I think we are all partial to a little nudity once in a while. We are sexual beings after all.

    Liked by 1 person

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